Many mental health symptoms can be the result of substance use, and in some cases, substance use is used to treat mental health. In any case, an accurate diagnosis is difficult, if not impossible, while the substance user is actively alcoholic relationship using or is still in the infantile stage of recovery. Like most things in life, change brings about fear because we aren’t sure what to expect. Living in that fear and choosing the path of inaction will most likely produce negative results for you and your alcoholic or addicted spouse or partner. Being aware of self-help groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) might help you steer your person to appropriate resources when they’re ready to accept them.
How to Leave an Alcoholic Safely
The 8 strategies below offer a starting place for navigating your relationship with a spouse or partner who has AUD. Above all, it can help to recognize that your partner didn’t choose to have AUD. That said, they certainly can choose to get help — and you can support them with starting that recovery process and sticking with it.
You’re Not Able To Take Care Of Yourself Or Your Kids Anymore

Of course, not everyone who drinks alcohol frequently or regularly will meet criteria for AUD. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can offer validation, encouragement, and accountability. Support groups, like those available on the Monument platform, allow you to talk openly with peers about your struggles and progress in a judgment-free environment.

#2 Drinking is Causing Financial Difficulties
- Overall, alcohol addiction can erode the foundation of love and mutual respect in a relationship.
- The effects of alcohol use disorder (AUD) are far from limited to the person with the drinking problem.
- Self-care includes setting healthy boundaries with your partner around behaviors you will and won’t accept, says Flagg.
- With these interventions, people can find health and happiness in sobriety.
Loving an alcoholic can turn into codependency, and you might just find yourself finding excuses, telling lies, and covering for your partner. Noah Williams is a passionate writer focusing on matters of the heart and mind. He emphasizes the importance of honesty, communication, and self-love for relationships. Naltrexone pills can be prescribed to a person who is still drinking to help them reduce their alcohol intake. For example, if a woman falls and breaks her hip, her husband is likely to be understanding that she will have to limit her activities, and she will need physical therapy to recover from her injury. Fortunately, many drug abuse problems and alcohol problems do not lead to death, but it can feel as if someone has passed away.
Remember to establish and maintain clear boundaries throughout the conflict resolution process. Your partner’s gradual withdrawal, mood swings, or denial about drinking patterns shouldn’t be dismissed as temporary phases. Early intervention becomes possible when you identify subtle changes in behavior and relationship dynamics that often precede serious problems. Breaking the cycle of alcohol-related conflict requires recognizing warning signs before they escalate into destructive patterns. Focus on resilience building through therapy, support groups, and consistent self-care practices. In all these cases, the desire to leave should not cause feelings of guilt.
- Inpatient treatment is recommended at the initial stage, which can later be replaced by outpatient treatment and relapse prevention.
- What makes this particularly challenging is that problem drinkers often don’t recognize the extent of their impact on others.
Over time, what is Oxford House a marriage can slowly fall apart, as alcohol is made a priority over the marriage. For example, a wife cannot understand how her husband would rather drink then come to bed to be with her. Many jobs are unpleasant, and then there is the long, difficult commute home.